Money is everything in marriage —Zacky

Culled from Punch

Tony Akposheri played the role of ‘Zacky’ in the comedy series, ‘New Masquerade’. He is married to Anne and they relive their 24 years union in this interview

How did you meet?

Tony: I met my wife on the set of ‘New Masquerade’ in Enugu. She was brought in to play the role of a secretary to Chief Zebrudaya. She played the role well, not only that, she looked innocent and smart. That attracted her to me.

Anne: A friend of mine told me about the role in New Masquerade and asked if I was interested. I was and I went to the set. That was where I met him.

What happened after the first meeting?

Anne: Mr. T, as I called him then, started talking to me and that was how it started.

Tony: I started watching her; she appeared more than once or twice. I advised her because it was her first production and she wanted to know how she would grow in the industry. From some of the questions she asked me, I could sense that she was smart.

Did she accept your advances immediately?

Tony: No. You know women don’t accept advances immediately even when they are interested. They will still try to feign hard-to-get. I proposed to her after my trip to Cameroun, where I had gone to perform with the ‘New Masquerade’ cast. My wife did not accept my advances immediately; she told me she was just finishing school. She was just 18 years old. Later, she told me that she was interested in me initially but she did not know if I wanted to play around. This is because actors had the reputation of using and dumping women.

Anne: I took him as a big brother but when he proposed to me, I never knew I would even get married because I was still very young. I had come from the village to stay with my elder sister in Enugu. He came to talk to my sister and she liked his personality and just accepted.

At what point did you decide that she was the one you were going to marry?

Tony: I decided that I would marry her while I was in Cameroun. I was watching a programme on television and the lady I saw in the programme looked a lot like her.

Anne: He proposed to me officially after his return from Cameroun. He proposed under a candlelight dinner at Modotel.

How did you propose?

Tony: I took her out to one of the best hotels in the area at that time. Two of her elder sisters accompanied us that night. When we came back to the camp, the welfare officer brought our food and I lit a candle, opened a bottle of red wine and proposed to her for the first time.

What was her reaction?

Tony: She did not know what to say. Afterwards, she confessed that she was scared that I was joking when I proposed the first time.

Anne: I took him serious when he proposed in the presence of my two elder sisters the second time. When he proposed the first time when there was just the two of us, I was laughing. My thought was that he just wanted to tease me.

How long ago was that?

Tony: That was in 1987. The cast and the crew of ‘New Masquerade’ went for the introduction and traditional marriage ceremonies. After the marriage, I brought her back to Lagos and enrolled her in a fashion academy. She was in the fashion academy when she got pregnant. We had our first child in 1989. Since then it has been very rosy.

You don’t have fights and arguments?

Tony: Fights and arguments cannot be completely ruled out in a marriage. What makes a marriage is the ability to resolve problems when they arise. There is no existing marriage that has never gone through problems. There have been ups and downs but I thank God that the positive has always overwhelmed the negative.

Anne: Marriage is not a bed of roses. Any woman who tells you that marriage is a bed of roses is not being truthful. There have been ups and downs but the most important thing is that when the ups come, you know how to resolve the matter and move ahead.

When you quarrel who is the first to say ‘sorry’?

Tony: If I am wrong, I would aplogise. If she is wrong, she would say sorry but we don’t allow the children to be privy to our quarrels. We sleep together even though she has her room and I have mine. We take our bath together up till now; no amount of quarrel can break that tradition.

Anne: We handle our issues ourselves; we don’t let a third party know what is going on. If I have problem with my husband and you come in, you would not know that we have issues, we will talk and play with the visitor but once the visitor leaves, we continue. The good thing is that we don’t keep malice. We will still be talking in the midst of the quarrel. Sometimes, he would do something that makes me laugh; I would laugh and still frown my face to show him that I am still offended.

What does she do that makes you angry?

Tony: Anything a woman can do to make a man angry.

Like what? Does she nag?

Tony: No. She does not nag. I am the one she accuses of nagging from time to time but sometimes she keeps quiet about certain things which I don’t like.

Anne: There is nothing he will do that can make me angry. The truth is that I can’t catch my husband doing something annoying; he would end up turning everything around in such a way that I would regret my anger.

His work exposes him to a lot of women, has that ever bothered you?

Anne: No. It has never bothered me. I am somebody who likes to trust completely. Sometimes, when we go out, ladies would cheer him by his stage name. When he starts talking and looking at them in a certain way, I would tease him and sometimes ask him if I should call one of the ladies for him. One does not have to be so fussy and start chasing a man all over the place.

How do you hang out as a couple?

Tony: When we find time we go to clubs and parties. Most times, we relax and entertain ourselves at home.

What do you do to keep the union together?

Tony: First of all, money is everything. I give her what she wants. The only problem is when the money is not coming, at such times, I become scared but I am still happy that when the money is not there, she lends support.

Anne: The important thing is that I avoid nagging. If there is anything he has done that I don’t like, I will call him and tell him not to do that again and he would comply.